Been awhile

I've been bad and haven't written in awhile. Time for a quick update although it has been same ole around here. We've been here about 6 weeks now and I guess it's starting to feel more like home. I still haven't made any friends and don't know anyone so that's making it feel strange. I went back to KC last weekend for Weston's birthday party and man I miss it. I miss the city and most importantly I miss my friends. Best friends are a treasure you want to hang onto for a lifetime. Joe is going back to KC next weekend for a guy's trip. I know he misses his friends too but he knows tons of people through work and could go out every night with someone different, although he doesn't and wouldn't so I think it's different for him. I'm trying to get involved with Isabella's school but it's been hard to meet anyone. Alot of people grew up here and know everyone. Either that or it seems like all the parents are that much older than me so it seems like it would be a weird relationship. I'm struggling a little with this. If Joe's schedule allowed for me to go to chuch every Sunday, I would be all over it. I know I would have an easier time meeting people that way. I guess to sum it all up, I'm having the hardest time adjusting to the move than anyone else. Joe has his job. All I have are the kids. And even though that's a job in it of itself, it isn't as fulfilling as I would like it to be. I need more! We'll see how the second month here finishes up.

Joe and I have our 6 year wedding anniversary on Sunday. Looking forward to that! I'll blog more later. Oh and here's a pic from last weekend with the Herrman's. 4 little best friends!

Almost a month

Can you believe it? We've almost lived in Ashland for one month! It did go by fast and we have been busy. Isabella started pre-k yesterday and she is really enjoying it. She looks forward to going and picking out her new outfit to wear. She's so funny. I know how badly she wants to make new friends. I'm hoping to meet other moms through her school as well. So far, I haven't met anyone. Hopefully that will all change sometime soon. We went to the Ashland Rodeo on Sat. It was our first venture out into Ashland and the kids, Joe and I had a really really fun time. The kids loved it and are already talking about going next year. I meant to go visit a new church last Sunday but I couldn't find anywhere what time the services started. I finally drove by the church today and got the times for their services. There are two churches I want to visit. One is Methodist and one is Baptist. One starts at 8am and the other 10. Isabella and I are going to go to one this coming Sunday. I feel that will be a great way to meet people as well. Here's a picture from the rodeo this weekend and Bella's first day of pre-K.

We made it~

Wow...what a couple of weeks we have had! We finally got moved to Ashland! I can hardly believe it! Everything went well with the radon test, appraisal and inspection and we closed on our house yesterday. We no longer own our house in Blue Springs and everything went off without a hitch. THANK GOD! We moved here to Ashland on August 1st and things are getting some what back to normal. We got all moved in and are mostly unpacked. There are a few random boxes here and there and tons of picture hanging to do but otherwise life is back to normal. The kids adjusted immediately. I was a little surprised by that but thankfully so. Isabella starts school August 25th and she is very ready for that; I am too! Just a quick update today. Life is finally getting grand again and I am so thankful and ready to start this new chapter in our lives. AMEN!

Counting down

The count down to moving day is on! Yesterday we had a radon test set up to be read 48 hours later. My luck we have radon in the house! Ha! Today we had the appraisal and that went fine. Tomorrow is the inspection; hope that goes well and there aren't any hold ups or anything we have to do! I bought $200 worth of boxes today so I've got lots to do before Thursday. PACKING PACKING PACKING! FUN! I am so excited and ready to get this show on the road.

I got to go out to dinner with Brenda and Danielle last night. We had a fabulous time. Bill babysat the kids and it was really nice to have a night out. It was an informal "send off" since we're moving. I'm not saying goodbye to anyone because I feel like I'm always going to come back. My heart is here and will always be here. I fell in love here, got married here, had both my babies here. Kansas City will always hold a special place in my heart.

I met Matt and Cori's newest addition to the Gillispie family yesterday too. The kids and I went and met little Alli Michelle Gillispie at their house. She was 4 days old! You forget how small and adorable babies are when they are that little. She slept the whole time we were there but I'm glad I got to meet her since I won't be able to see anyone for awhile.

That's it from me for now. Busy busy busy around here but so excited. Just praying the inspection goes well tomorrow. That's the only thing that could hold us up but we are offering the buyers a warranty so they shouldn't be too concerned. Praying for a passing grade A inspection. Then all we have to do is wait for closing! Talk soon.

I'm so out of here!

So much has happened since I last wrote. Our finicky buyers ended up calling Joe Tuesday night and said they wanted the house but for the cheaper price we agreed to on Sat. So basically we're paying their downpayment, paying all their closing costs, giving them a home warranty and the price is well below appraisal and market value. They are getting a STEAL. And we just put a new roof on the house on Wednesday. They came over Thursday evening to sign the contracts. So we are officially "under contract." We are set to close on August 15th. They have their inspection on Wednesday.

We got the duplex we applied for too! We move in next weekend, Aug.1st. I think it will work out nicely. It's a four bedroom, 3 full bath duplex that was built in 2005 so it's fairly new. We'll be saving about $300 a month just on rent so that should be nice. I'm really excited. I already started changing our address and packing. The countdown is on!

Thursday night was girl's night at the K (Royal's). We had a good group and it was a lot of fun. Here's a picture. It is going to be so weird to live away. These girls have been my "girls" since I was 20 years old. 10 years! I know I'll only be 2 hours away and I'll come back for all the fun stuff but it's weird. I'm excited to meet new friends and start our lives in Ashland but oh how bitter sweet it is to leave.

That's it for now. Just wanted to post a quick update. I am going to be super busy in the upcoming days. Only 4 full days to pack the rest of the house up. I've been packing the last 7 months on and off. Now it's time to wrap up and be done! I don't look forward to the actual moving part but the end result is going to be AWESOME. My family will finally be back together again. Oh I got so sad last night. I was doing laundry and Isabella found one of Joe's undershirts that needed to be washed. She put it on and started crying saying that it smelled like her daddy and she misses him so much. It broke my heart. I've never seen her just start crying like that so out of the blue. She slept in his shirt last night and she still has it on today. She won't take it off. It's pretty sweet!

Life goes on

So we're back to square one with no buyers in sight. We lowered our price another $5000 today to see if that will generate any interest. Joe went and picked up an application for a rental house in Ashland yesterday and turned it in. I feel like the biggest loser but you have to say enough is enough eventually. We can't live in two different cities forever. If we get the rental house we are moving in August 1st. It's a small light at the end of the tunnel that perhaps this seperateness is coming to a close but it's hard to just up and abandon my home. We'll just pay for two places until we can't do it anymore. Then? Who knows. We've got the home priced to where we'll probably owe money at closing which is so awful. What kind of country do we live in that the "American Dream" is so out of reach that I'm losing money on my home that I've owned for 5 years? We live in a capatalistic country with a bunch of rich, greedy old oil men running things. I'm sick of it! Joe and I have worked so hard since we've been married to eliminate our debt. We don't have nice things, we don't go on vacations. We just exist. We provide our children with the things they "need" without overwhelming them and spoiling them. We don't have a single credit card. If we don't have the money for it, we don't buy it. How many families can say that they don't own a single credit card? WE DON'T! We pay cash for EVERYTHING! We have one car payment. It just makes me sick that as responsible as we are; we are facing foreclosure. Our country is MESSED UP! I'm just sick about everything. Never in my wildest dreams did I envision this. But life goes on. I am so numb to everything. I can't cry anymore about it. I've cried so much that I'm all cried out. There's no more tears left. I pray we'll get this rental house and we can move. We just have to start our lives over there and move on. We'll deal with our house here when we have to. Luckily the rental house is CHEAP so maybe we can swing paying for both places. So that's it from me. That's where I'm at! Our country has to make a change. Things are getting out of control!

One day I'm up the next I'm down

Well, where's there's good news, there's also bad news. Wednesday was supposed to be a very exciting day with signing contracts and getting one step closer to reuniting our family again. We get a call on Wed.from our buyers saying their bank is no longer funding loans at this time and they will not be able to obtain a loan. They said they immediately got on the phone and started shopping around for a new bank to help them obtain a loan. They had some meeting last night with the bank they chose. Well, it's 1:23 pm the next day and we still haven't heard anything from them and Joe's even called them and left a message. I am numb. I don't know what we are going to do. That was our last chance to get our house sold and move in time for Isabella to go to preschool. I physically, mentally and emotionally can't go on like this anymore but what choice do I have. What can I do? I've done everything in my power to make this work and I failed. I cry every day. My kids see me so unhappy. I can't even remember what it feels like to be truely happy anymore. My world is crashing down around me. I feel exactly like I did when both Joe and I got laid off in the same day; helpless! I'm going to lose everything. We've worked so hard the past 6 years to get where we are. We have perfect credit. I've never paid one bill late in my entire life and here I am thinking about foreclosing on my house. I've given it 7 months and I can't get this house sold. I'm not trying to be greedy. I will live in a shack so that I can reunite my family again. I don't understand what I did to deserve this. I'm a good person. I follow the rules. I don't have nice things, I don't buy anything for myself. I'm not irresponsible. I do the right thing. I've prayed to God so much in the past 7 months. I don't understand why He is letting me down when I need him the most. I know it's not my place to question God and why He leads us down the path we go but I don't get it. For the past 7 months I've done nothing but put my faith in Him that he would get us through this in time and it looks like we lost. We lost the fight. I'm not a selfish person anymore. I only want my kids to have a good life and I can't get them that. I only wanted Isabella to go to school next year; give her a good life. My kids are not being raised right. How healthy can it be for them to see their mother crying every day. I can't even pretend to be happy anymore. I'm just numb. I just get through the day somehow. I'm sick to my stomach right now just thinking about the next step. What are we going to do? No one has the answer. No one. And no one gets it. No one gets that I'm trying to raise two children and this is affecting them. This affects all of us. As awful as it sounds, I think everything would just be easier if I weren't here but that would be the ultimate in giving up. But the world has given up on me so who cares if I give up on the world? It doesn't seen irrational to want my family to be back together again. I got married and had children for a reason, didn't I? It wasn't so that my husband could live in one city and I could raise my children bymyself in another. I'm more depressed than I have ever been in my entire life and there's nothing I can do to make it better. This is out of my hands and beyond my control. And I'm so sick and tired of everone's advice. "Chin up." "Keep your head up." "You are so strong." "You are such a trooper." "I couldn't do it." "Smile." "It will happen soon." "Your house will sell soon." "I would hate for you to lose everthing." "You can't foreclose just so Isabella can go to school." I mean are you serious!?! WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!? Seriously!